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Okay, now I see it. * It’s not often I break gossip here, but a...

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 03:47:21 -0700

Okay, now I see it.

It’s not often I break gossip here, but a few weeks ago I heard from a friend that Nicki Clyne from BSG, Smallville’s Kri-Kreu and her BFF Allison Mack are all members of this secret cult-like organization that’s kind of like $cientology minus the aliens and with “executive” as their buzzword and some guy named Keith Raniere as their L.Ron. My friend said that Kri-Kreu’s boyfriend apparently got her into it and now her actor pals are following suit (and trying to recruit other entertainment professionals like my friend), which is sad… as is this haircut, which unfortunately TOTALLY brings homegirl’s crazy frothing to the surface.

Oh well. We’ll always have Edgemont.

(photo from INO via Dlisted)

Exclusive! Here’s some great candid shots of members of...

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 02:04:00 -0700

Exclusive! Here’s some great candid shots of members of Canadian band Sloan as they chill out at a random Elks Lodge after an outdoor show in Buffalo, NY. Above, tourmate and Clap Assassin Kevin Hilliard serves as the band’s whiteboard promotions director.

Below, Sloan’s Chris Murphy dances with some energetic new fans.

Playing some Fleetwood Mac with the house cover band “The Hudsons”. I love the backup singers’ baked potato pants so much. You can totally go your own way in those.

Below, Jay Ferguson and a smiley pal are loving the entertainment. (Obviously The Hudsons did too, because they left a couple of appreciative comments on Sloan’s website. Adorbs.)

Sloan is touring to promote the album “Parallel Play” (can it really be their 12th?) which came out June 10th on their label murderercords. Below is a shot from their set at Buffalo’s Canal Fest, right before a thunderstorm cut the thing short.

They’re on the road across the eastern part of Canada and the US throughout the summer, so go see them if they’re nearby, and say hi to my buddy Goose on keybs.

(All photos by Gregory MacDonald, via Facebook)

"Canadian pop star Avril Lavigne is set to put her music career on hold after landing her first lead..."

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 15:24:18 -0700

“

Canadian pop star Avril Lavigne is set to put her music career on hold after landing her first lead role in a movie. The singer has toyed with acting in the past, taking on minor roles in last year’s ‘The Flock’ and 2006 film ‘Fast Food Nation’. She also provided the voice for a character in 2006 animated movie ‘Over The Hedge’.

Now Lavigne is stepping up her career as a serious thespian with her first starring role - and she insists it will be totally different to her previous work. She tells British publication The London Paper: “I’ve got a film role coming up - something you wouldn’t expect from me, something deep and dark.”

”

- Do you think she means she’s “toyed with acting… like a mature human being”? Kind of like she’s “toyed” with being humble and gracious to her fans?

And actually, AvLav, this is exactly what I expect, given your current, ass-ward career trajectory. Albums not selling, accused of plagiarism, fan base aging (and realizing you secretly HATE them all), husband cowering from all your massive [alleged] coke rages, you release a line of ~~slut uniforms~~ cheap hoodies, cancel tour dates when they don’t sell enough, and now since you have nothing left to destroy, you are “stepping up your career as a SERIOUS THESPIAN”? Oh, this should be fun. Probability of FAIL? 100%.

Warm up the Schadenfreude machine - I think we’ll have lots more mocking to do in the coming months! (Via here)

VICE mag features BMW cover ad visible only in the dark

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 11:42:00 -0700

VICE mag features BMW cover ad visible only in the dark:

They may be yesterday’s hipster mag to some, but people are certainly talking about this! (Media In Canada via Gawker)

Rode hard and put away wet

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:22:00 -0700

It’s over for Ladysmith’s most famous woman (no, not my crazy aunt Joanne) Pam Anderson and her thirty seconds worth of husband, Rick ~~Salmon~~ ~~Soloman~~ ~~Salman Rushdie~~ the crusader-eyed weirdo from One Night In Paris, a fact which probably comes as no surprise to anyone who has ever heard of them or their exes… or drawn a breath in an oxygen environment. You’d have to be a pretty dumb bag of hair not to have seen that coming. But the bag of hair went and married him anyway, bless her.

Despite having the Hep, there are a lot of persistent rumours out there about the ways Pam likes to “get hepped” (yes, I just said that), and after viewing her sex tape with Tommy Lee (and the coda, featuring that repugtard, Bret Michaels), I can at least confirm she knows her way around a rolling machine… although I’ve heard she’s much more familiar with reflective surfaces, if you catch my snowdrift. But that couldn’t be the reason for her alleged miscarriage, could it? They look like such clean living kids, don’t they?

I’m not interested in Rick’s, but if you haven’t seen her sex tape, the highlight is not the sex (of which there is simply oodles), but rather the way Tommy & Pam, in complete seriousness, insist on calling each other “lovahh”, which sends me into hysterics every time. I kind of wish she would have another kid just so we could see which 90210 character name would come up next in the lottery (I was holding out for a little baby Brenda!), but alas, it is not to be.

I’m guessing this marriage did at least produce a sex tape, though (one which will probably gestate until the next bumpy PR cycle either has). Old habits die hard, and these two champions are about as desperate as one can be to avoid the glue factory of obscurity…

"Jacko Clan In A Deep Funk"

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 00:22:49 -0700

"Jacko Clan In A Deep Funk":

Gotta love a Post headline. And oh how the mighty have fallen! Marlon is stocking shelves in a supermarket, ferfucksakes! I am SHOCKED!

Crazy needs a j-o-b

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:43:15 -0700

Aww, honey. We all go through dry spells! I’m sure it has NOTHING to do with the bad press you got from your last job and your last relationship where you almost took down that internet mogul and then sold his shit online. Employers don’t really pay attention to the internet. I’m sure everyone just assumes you’re busy.

Here’s my question though: can a person with a history of so many scandals, lawsuits and restraining orders even HAVE references on their resume? ~~Liam Donnelly~~, ~~Patricia O’Hagan~~, ~~John Stubbs~~, ~~Neil Boyd~~, ~~Michael Morgan~~, ~~Gurmant Grewal~~… I mean, even your current employer referred to you in the press as “nine miles of bad road.” (What does it say about me that I’m still friends with most of my exes and bosses over the years?)

Most interestingly, The Tyee points out that scandal is actually in many ways the Marsden famly business: “Her father, Claude, was a high school teacher who in 2000 had his teaching license suspended after admitting to an inappropriate relationship with a 16-year-old student.” Much as one hates to ascribe human feelings to the Marsdenbot, somebody’s obviously working through some serious issues — and not very effectively.

Oh, but in case it wasn’t clear, good luck with the job hunt! (And thanks for reminding me, I must remember to ask my former colleague Michael Morgan if he’ll be a reference for me!).

We're back, baby!

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 17:59:38 -0700

After a considerable absence, Poutina has risen from some rather infamous ashes (which we may end up dishing about at some point) and it’s great to be back! This is where you’ll find the most artery-clogging internet junk food, served up sloppily and in true Canadian-style.

We’re just getting the machines all greased up over here, so it might take a few days to start cranking grist through our little mill on the regs, so feel free to browse the rest of the Heziverse and take a look at Hezful (our food blog), Civixen (for politics/current affairs), cvxn (the place where they all flow together) and HWHQ for info about the business side of what we do. Coming soon - Radio Hez (for podcasts) and a few others still in development. (If anybody has some free time to take over the world with me, I need an intern!)

And don’t hate us ‘cause we’re beautiful. That’s logo designer Sean Maxey’s fault.

As always, email me tips about Canadian celebrities up to no good at home and abroad, and check back for updates throughout the ides of March!

Thanks for stopping by!